Here comes the Man in Black

This place is death

Greetings fellow Losties. Rumors that I was captured by the Smoke Monster have been overstated, although that would have been a much cooler story than me working 16 hour days. I’ve returned just in time to do a mad recap of the last few episodes and to run a few theories by you before tonight’s widely anticipated episode. Just a warning, if you’ve been hiding under whatever rock Ben & Richard Alpert are under and don’t want to know who tonight’s episode is about please read no further. As always, I never post spoilers and am only going by last week’s previews..

I have that same feeling I had before the Richard Alpert episode only there is even MORE anticipation…a Smoke Monster centric episode! And if we’re really lucky it’ll be a Smokey & Jacob centric episode. Somewhere around the age of 12, I am sad to say, I stopped feeling that Christmas zeal that kept me from sleeping on xmas eve (Dear Santa bring me a Super Nintendo). Well that feeling is back in spades. Somehow I was able to get a few hours of sleep last night, however, I don’t know how I’ll get through work today (is it 9pm yet?) Ok now what I’ve missed…

I won’t even try to cover the last 3 episodes in a single blog considering we had 3 main deaths and a Desmond episode. First the deaths. I have criticized this show as being afraid to kill any of the 5-6 main characters and I stubbornly stand behind that remark. As devastated as I was to see Jin & Sun die, (there may not be crying in baseball but it should be allowed in LOST) there’s still a chance they’ll live happily ever after. If Timeline X turns out to be the real timeline then they will be alive. I understand the writers can’t reveal what’s going on with Timeline X yet but the alternate timeline does take a little away from the tragedy of our favorite characters’ deaths.

As far as the deaths go, for me it ranks second to Charlie’s death in terms of most heart-wrenching. Charlie’s death was built up too long and was in the service of self-sacrifice so it felt a bit “grander”. On the other hand, as some of my LOST friends will note, I didn’t reply to text messages or answer phone calls for at least 30 minutes after the episode ended. I’m revealing to them for the first time that I was hiding behind the excuse of “I’m watching it on TIVO delay and I’ll get back to you when I’m finished”. While this was perfectly true, I still took much longer than needed to get back to them. After grieving for Jin once, I found the second time unbearable. Their daughter is an orphan and will never meet her father. Why didn’t Sun demand Jin save himself for their daughter?Damn you Jacob and your stupid island!

Last thought on the deaths, are we going to miss Sayid? After being character-assassinated for almost the entire season, he snapped out of his “no feelings” trance to spare Desmond and try to save the Losties on the sub. This brings up more questions on what it means to become infected by the Smoke Monster. I really hope they at least clear that matter up this week. It also speaks to my biggest grip against season 6: stop making my favorite characters lame!

Ok, I think I bitched enough, especially since the past few episodes have been awesome. I loved the Hurley and Libby re-kindlement, loved the Desmond episode and I love Desmond playing the role of Jacob in Timeline X. Let me hit you with some of my thoughts from the last few episodes:

• FINALLY Timeline X has become interesting and relevant!
• Eloise told Desmond that Timeline X is a reality where everyone gets what they want. How is she able to see The Matrix? Is it real? Do Smokey & Jacob know about it? Sayid confirmed that Smokey promised to bring back Nadia. Was Smoking manipulating Sayid or was he talking about Timeline X?
• Add Desmond to my list of people I believe have been J-Touched. I can’t believe I missed the fact that he’s immune to Electromagnetic Energy. While we’re at it, Eloise was probably J-Touched too
• Why didn’t Smokey kill Desmond to being with? Why throw him down a well? I have a theory coming up on why Desmond is fatal to Smokey
• I’ll take last week’s episode as confirmation that Smokey needs all the candidates to die before he can leave the island. People have asked how he knew that some of the candidates survived and my theory is because I think he would know when he became free. If nothing else, he will likely be able to change his appearance back the form back that “Jacob stole from him”
• So whispers are dead people trapped on the island. I’ve had a tough time sorting out when a dead person was a Smokey-impersonation and when it was just a dead person. In the end I I decided that Hurley is the only one that sees real dead people, because of his power, and the rest were probably Smokey.
• How the hell is Widmore’s island intel so good?? How did he know about Desmond’s EM ability and the 100 other things he seems knows. Someone is communicating with him and I think it’s Jacob
• I think Kate was removed as a candidate because she is a mom now. She would never have put the island before Aaron. My theory falls apart when you ask about Kwon but technically Jin never met his daughter

Before I finish this blog, I need to get my Desmond theory on the record. I think that Smokey is Electromagnetism-incarnate when he is the black smoke thing and thus cannot hurt Desmond in that form. I also believe Desmond is the only person that can kill Smokey. My backup theory is that the pockets of energy on the island give Smokey his power and Desmond will either have to use those pockets to kill Smokey or destroy the pockets to kill Smokey. Either way, Dez is gonna do in Smokey.

Finally, I just want to say something about Jacob. Since the Richard Alpert episode I’ve hated Jacob. If Jacob is containing Smokey on the island in order to save humanity, then Jacob is a huge asshole. Follow me here. If manipulating a human into killing Jacob is the only loop-hole to free Smokey, then why does Jacob take that risk of bringing people to the island? He told Richard it was because he wants to prove to Smokey that people can be good. If that’s the real reason than Jacob is even worse than Smokey because he’s risking the destruction of humanity just to prove a stupid point. Dear Jacob, stop bringing people to the island, everyone is happier in Timeline X without you and your stupid island, Love Finally Lost. P.S. you suck. All that said, it does not explain: “It only ends once, the rest is just progress”.

Next up on Finally Lost, we’ll discuss the big episode and talk a little about all these LOST Finale parties going on. Any guesses on who I’ll be dressing up as??

Loosen up my buttons baby

That's exactly what the Pussycat Dolls had in mind

Kudos again to the writers for the title “The Package”. In addition to being everyone’s favorite euphemism for men’s “junk”, it kept up with the trend of having meanings in both Timeline Prime and Timeline X. Like a lot of you I was pretty bored by “The Package” which is disappointing because I am usually a fan of Sun/Jin-centric episodes. This episode perfectly captured my 2 biggest problems with this season: 1) for the most part I don’t care about Timeline X and 2) cramming the entire island mythology in the last 17 episodes really takes away from the great character developed stories we are use to.

Is it LOST-blaspheme to say I am really bored with Timeline X?? Well dude, I don’t know where it’s going so how can I get invested in it? Is Timeline X really just a season-long epilogue explaining what happens to the characters after they change time again at the end of Season 6? Is it really a first go around and something happens/happened to make Timeline Prime the “truth timeline”? Who knows and until I understand I really can’t get too invested into whether or not Jin and a shopping-obsessed/more obedient Sun get married despite Daddy Sun’s disapproval. At the end of the day, I don’t know which Timeline is “truth”, so I don’t know which one to be invested in. And before you comment on it, I will not accept that both timelines will be “truth” because that really hurts my head.

And yes it’s true, I’m complaining about too many answers. My problem isn’t so much with all the answers we are getting, but rather the pace in which we are getting them. There is something intrinsically wrong about cramming all of the answers into season 6. Did we really have to wait until the last episode of season 5 to learn that everything happening on the island is because of a battle between good and evil? And doesn’t this battle take away from the small day to day character battles we’ve been so invested in for so long? Widmore tells Jin that it doesn’t matter if he reunites with Sun because if Smokey gets off the island Armageddon is going to occur. Boy that really takes the wind from my “will Hurley will every find out that Libby was in the institution with him” sails. How can I root for a Jin-Sun reunion when I’m worried about Armageddon?  Everything takes a back seat to Armageddon…except for of course Penny and Desmond ending up together (more on that later).

Now it’s time for my weekly paragraph on why Jacob sucks and how his stupid J-touching ruins everyone’s lives. Are Jin and Sun better off in Timeline X or Timeline Prime? That’s a really tough question because neither timeline is really great to them. In Timeline Prime, I would argue they are both better people. Jin is a better person, they have a daughter sorta-together, and Sun has neutralized the threat her dad poses via her Oceanic fortune. On the other hand, they’ve been apart for 3 years, Jin’s never seen his daughter and they may be stuck on the island which would prevent them from being with their daughter. Side note, Widmore showing Jin pictures of his daughter for the first time was this season’s most touching scene to date. Tear. Now back in Timeline X, Jin is still sucky pre-island Jin, Sun doesn’t appear to be as capable of a person and Sun’s dad just had Jin deliver his own bounty pay to contract killers. P.S. How cold it is that he sent Kreamy a watch too?? I’d like to pay you $25,000 to kill the guy that’s nailin my daughter and oh, here’s a watch for your troubles. I think it’s time to award Jacob his 2nd victory, congratulations, it a tight race but you’ve made life better for TWO Losties through your J-touch powers. Note: if Jin and Sun aren’t reunited with their daughter, I’ll have to re-award this to Timeline X, assuming Sun doesn’t die from her gunshot wound.

Last point before the quick hits, it IS interesting that Smokey’s release could cause Armageddon. It would also vindicate everything Jacob’s been doing and would just make everything they’ve gone through an acceptable casualty of war. I would, however, argue against Jacob’s tactics. If Jacob keeps Smokey locked down, then why bring people to the island and risk having Smokey manipulate them into killing Jacob? I think it’s because Jacob is bored and wants to shove humanity’s goodness in Smokey’s ‘er smoke face. That makes hubris Jacob’s weakness.

And now the quick-hits:

• Jin and Sun not married?? Jacob really dangles the strings here but the more interesting question is, how is Jin not sterile in this timeline (assuming Sun’s baby is Jin’s)?? Maybe the J-touch actually made Jin sterile because a baby would have prevented them both from getting on that plane. Sun would not have taken the trip with a baby in tow and probably wouldn’t have learned English if she had a baby with Jin
• Jack is SO on board with Jacob now and there’s NO way Kate is going to convince him to leave the island. Why do you find it so easy!!??!!
• It was interesting that Jin was being held in the same room Carl was held in once upon a time (Rm 23). Does that annoying sound keep Smokey out? During my re-watch of season 3 I noticed that the screen says God loves Jacob
• I wonder what Widmore and Sun worked out during their off-island meeting. In light of that meeting, his holding Jin seems more than a coincidence, unless you buy that Tina Fey REALLY needs to know about those pockets of energy
• Speaking of those pockets, are we finally going to find out what they do? Do they give Jacob his power? Do they give Smokey his power? Do they keep Smokey at bay? Where did they come from?
• Why didn’t Widmore’s crew just kill all of Smokey’s followers? That would have been an easy way to “win the war”
• Sun can’t speak English?? Really?? Laaame
• Sun has nice boobs!
• And finally…I got really scared when Widmore talked to Jin about understanding the fact he was kept from his daughter. More than any other moment, that’s when I knew that the damn the package was Desmond. I kept saying PLEASE don’t let the package be Desmond. I’m willing to sacrifice the return of one of my favorite characters, just so he can live happily with Penny! I hate Widmore, and wonder where my girl Penny is 😦

Well, lots of thought and theories this week, let me know what you think. In a late breaking theory someone told me that all the Timeline X storylines are converging on all of the Losties going to a hospital. That might be worth exploring…

Top 5 men of Lost Island (guest blog)

Another entry from a guest blogger, please give a warm welcome to Franny DiGiulio…

Ben did a nice job of summing up the Top 5 Hottest Chicks from Lost (although I think some Sun was missing, I can get on board with his criteria for each selection), so now it’s my turn to tackle the guys (and in some cases, tackle, get caught in a net, etc.). I used similar criteria for the guys as Ben used for the ladies. First, a quick note about some of the ones who did not make the cut-off that I think some people may include in their own lists:

• Not big into old dudes, so Christian, Widmore (even young Widmore), and mid-old dudes Locke and Ben do not make it. All intriguing characters, but not ones I dream of being locked in a polar bear cage with.
• I gave consideration to Sayid and especially Jin for their good physiques, but ultimately they just didn’t make the top 5. Bad Jin is a plain ass, and good Jin is more ‘cute’. Sayid may be a badass, but that hasn’t really helped out any of the women in his life, just ask Nadia, Shannon, and the Economist’s employee. Heck even friends Rousseau and Ana didn’t last long. Ilana, you’ve been warned.
• I have to give an honorable mention to Richard Alpert. A very handsome man, natural guy-liner and all, but like Ben I’m a sucker for an accent, so Richard just doesn’t measure up to the hotness of Luis from Suddenly Susan.

OK, so here it goes:
5) Hugo “Hurley” Reyes. I know, if I’m using Ben’s criteria then this was the one exception where personality carried someone to the Top 5 over pure physical superficiality. The giant Teddy bear with a sense of humor and heart of gold that every girl SAYS (translation: lies) she wants, but never goes for because she’s chasing some of the bad boys in spots 1-4. His personality outweighs (bad pun) what he lacks in 6 pack abs. And who’s heart didn’t completely melt when he said “Sorry I forgot the blankets”? Added bonus – he can help you catch up with an old friend over a friendly game of chess (checkmate Mr. Eko).

Fat guys finish 5th

4) Boone Carlisle. Oh Boone, wish we’d gotten to know you longer before Locke sacrificed you to the island. Sure, he was a bit whiny and the obsession with his self-absorbed step-sister was a little weird, but those eyes….let’s just say I’d be tempted even if I were his full sister. Luckily for me he has re-surfaced hotter than ever as a Vampire on the CW.

Already has the right pigment for a vampire

3) Jack Shephard. No debating he is one fine Doc..some say he cries a lot, but nothing wrong with a hot man who’s also in touch with his emotions. It’s worth noting that probably through Season 3, Jack would have been in a tie for 1st place. Early on he was often able to get the best of his main competition (the eye exam from season 1 being a classic example), and his arrogance was pretty hot. If I were Kate, I’d do my best to string that triangle out for as long as possible as well. But somewhere, Jack lost a little of his mojo for me. It might have started with that awful beard and the paranoia that grew in with it. I think it was sealed when he was willing to give up ever knowing the love of his life (side note – is any woman Jack gets with not immediately the love of his life? He’s pretty intense with his relationships) by setting off a nuclear bomb. Hey Jack, do you know how many men would have killed for a desperate, “I just gave up my son, but don’t ask questions” romp with Kate? And you are OK with just erasing it? I’m hoping he regains some of his mojo this season (Time for a tangent prediction: I think Jack might have a tragic ending in store for him this season).

Cry me a river

2) Desmond Hume. Let me just get this out of the way now: Desmond could motorboat me any day of the week in exchange for a “see ya in anotha life brotha”. As I mentioned earlier, like Ben, I’m a sucker for a hot accent. If I were Penny, I’d have sat by that phone for 8 years as well just to hear some of that pornography for the ears. And in comparison to Brotha Jack, you know Des wouldn’t go setting off any nuke’s to erase his memory of Penny….Hot Body, Hot Accent, and true dedication to his 1 true love, there’s only 1 guy who can top all that………

V-necks are all the rage on the island

1) James “Sawyer” Ford / Jim Le Fleur. Was this ever in question? I could write an entire blog about how hot he is (and in fact, I’m pretty sure if you take some of Ben’s statements about Sawyer from all his blogs, they might compose an entire blog as well). He drives women and men alike wild with his bad boy swagger, intelligence, and of course his perfect scruff. As the good men of Animosity Pierre so aptly put it, he makes no shirt look like a tux (although even fully clothed, he’s a force to be reckoned with). I think the women of the island would agree as he’s gotten the most on-island action (2 of which are in the Top 3 Hot women). His hotness is so powerful, he was purposely shirt-less for the early Time travel episodes to help balance some of the craziness for the fans (wonder if Faraday included that force as one of his variables). Just in case you’re not entirely convinced of his rock star status yet, check to see if you have a pulse, and then check out the montage and reaction he received at Comic Con when the producers announced a special un-named guest (and notice the difference in reaction when at first the crowd was led to believe it was Jack, then when they saw it was actually Sawyer). Yes, I was one of the women squealing uncontrollably like a tween at a Jonas Brother concert.

We got ourselves a situation

See ya in Los Angeles

All episodes complete! 42 agonizing days until the Lost Season 6 premier, and like you I am completely lost.

Now that was one hell of a finale. Lost fans what did you do on your summer vacation? “Um we argued back and forth if the timeline of the show was reset when Juliet blew up the nuke”. I have a very strong opinion on what happened (surprised?) but I’m hoping to hear all your theories since you can now comment without fear of spoiling me. But first the recap:

We see Jacob & an unknown “friend” (being called nemesis in some circles) enjoying a typical 1800s day by the fully erect statue by the beach. There is a boat on the horizon (presumable the Black Rock) and Nemesis asks Jacob why he brought the boat to the island when people always end up fighting and killing each other. Jacob says until the final end everything is progress. Nemesis remarks that  he will someday find a loophole and kill Jacob. Next we see flashbacks of almost every significant Lostie and how Jacob interacted with all of them at some point. Jacob payed for the lunchbox kid-Kate stole, lent Sawyer the pen he used to write the letter to Sawyer, prevented Sayid from being hit by the car that killed Nadia, brought Locke back to life after his father pushed him out that window, congratulated Jin & Sun at their wedding, picked up Hurley outside the police station and convinced him to get on AA Flight 316 and left him a guitar case, and finally visited Boobie-Fett in the hospital and asked her to do him a favor. Interestingly enough, Jacob was not in the flashback where Juliet found out her parents were getting a divorce. Back on the present day island Locke tells Richard to take all The Others to see Jacob and tells Other Ben he has to kill Jacob. Other Ben agrees because Dead SlingShot (Alex) told him to do everything Locke said and because he feels slighted that Jacob never met him in all his years as leader of the Others. We find out Jacob lives at the bottom of the four-toed statue (what lies in the shadow of the statue…the one that can save us…apparently Jacob) and Other Ben and Locke going in for a quality time visit. While Locke and Other Ben are in the statue it it is revealed that Boobie-Fett and her pals were carrying around  real-Locke’s body the whole time, making everyone wonder who is in the statue with Other Ben! Cut to inside the statue, Jacob congratulates fake-Locke on finding a loop hole thus revealing him to be Nemesis. Nemesis’ plan works and Other Ben kills Jacob and for just for giggles, Nemesis kicks Jacob’s body into the fire.

Back in 1977, Kate, SawFleur & Juliet break out of the sub and go back to stop Jack (they also run into Rose, White Bernard & Vincent who have been living happily ever after for the last 3 years). Juliet changes her mind several times but eventually decides the right thing to do is to help Jack reset the future by blowing up the atom bomb down the chamber of the unbuilt hatch. Sayid who was likely given a fatal gun wound from an earlier gun fight, sets the atom bomb to detonate on impact. Ghostbuster then wisely asks the question: “How do you know blowing up the nuke isn’t the incident??” No one has an answer for him and they decide to blow up the nuke anyway. There is a big gun fight but the Losties win and Jack throws the nuke down the hatch hole but nothing happens. Meanwhile the drill hits the pocket of energy and everything metal begins to be pulled towards the pocket of energy. Juliet gets tangled in a chain and in a heartbreaking moment Sawyer loses her hand and she is pulled down to the bottom of the hatch hole. Juliet wakes up badly injuried at the bottom of the hatch hole and sees the nuke is still intact. Using a rock next to her, she slams the nuke 8 times and it explodes and we get LOST WHITE-screened. End of season. AHHHHH!

I am sure time is reset. It has to be. There is no way the writers would tease us with the possibility of a reset and then not give it to us. Based on the name of the first episode in season 6 plus the fact that everyone and Aaron’s mom is on the season 6 promo cover (welcome back Boone, Sticks, Mr. Eko), I believe 815 is landing in LAX. The question is how do the events of the island converge with the new present? The past 5 seasons can’t all be for nothing, that would be horrible! The writers would have a revolution on their hands! We’d take to the streets, shoot fire arrows at the writers and send the black smoke monster at ABC! It’s possible the nuke was “the incident” all along and somehow that flashes forward all the Losties into the present where life is happy for everyone, but I just don’t see it. Obviously everything would change if 815 lands safely in LAX starting with the passengers not knowing each other. Here are a few other not so obvious changes in history:

• Jacob is alive. If 815 never crashes, Nemesis’ plan can never use Locke. I bet that’ll piss off Nemesis
• What will Desmond do with himself on the island? If the hatch is never built, how does Desmond occupy himself? Does he become an Other or is he killed by The Others? He also won’t meet Faraday in Oxford and who knows what the consequences for that are.
• Ethan is never born. Sawyer saves his mother in the future. Also who knows all the consequences that will occur from the Losties not traveling back in time!
• Other Ben might die from his back tumor. On one hand Jack won’t be on the island to save him (neither will Ethan), but on the other hand if the hatch doesn’t blow up then the electrocal systems on the island will be intact meaning Other Ben can leave the island on the sub Locke will never blow up to see a real doctor
• Desmond will never tell Penny to call him on christmas eve.
• The freighter may never find the island. I think the 815 crash gave Widmore a good guess on the island’ location and without the crash, he might not have been able to find it.

And there are the obvious consequences. The bad: Sawyer is still a conman, Rose, Locke & Faraday will continue to have their physical ailments, Prego (Claire) gives up her baby, Charlie remains an addict, Jin is still a bad person and Michael is alive. But there is some good: all the passengers will survive, Sayid will be reunited with Nadia and Indiana will live because they probably never find the island. Like Sawyer, I was voting for Jack NOT to blow the nuke. Tear.

Now my theory can totally be shot to hell because in someways it doesn’t make sense. IF the Losties never crash on the island then the nuke is probably never contained and it’s certainly never blown up near the hatch which means time can’t be reset!!! Ahh paradox!!! This is and endless loop and can’t be explained and is the best evidence that time will not reset. I wonder how the writers will respond. It’s also worth mentioning that just because the hatch doesn’t rip flight 815 in-half doesn’t mean the plane won’t have electrical problems and crash land on the island just like AA 316. In fact this is the most likely scenario.

With all the other topics going on, I’ve avoided Jacob & Nemesis. I doubt I am alone in thinking that Nemesis IS the black smoke and it can take on the appearance of any dead person on the island. Since it hates humans, black smoke seems to enjoy killing them after judging them (it judged Mr. Eko the same way it judged Other Ben). I also think Jacob & Nemesis are aliens who somehow got punished and are placed on the island which is serving as a prison. Nemesis blames Jacob for the imprisonment and that’s why he wants to kill him. Makes sense to me…

Finally, I need to talk about Juliet & Sawyer. I loved them as a couple and was heartbroken when she let go of Sawyer’s hand. You really felt Sawyer’s pain in that scene. Even before that scene I was pissed at Juliet for giving up on Sawyer just because he looked at Kate. Let it go!! Kate ain’t all that and you’re almost as hott and you’re way more together. Juliet, you disappointed me…

Next up on Finally Lost…I’ll recap season 5 and formally list my Season 6 predictions. I know many of you have been reluctant to comment on the blog for fear of dropping spoilers (thank you for this, and amazingly enough nothing was spoiled!) but I’d like to hear your thoughts and theories on the upcoming series. What’s going to happen??

There’s no place like home

Completed: 4-11 Cabin Fever, 4-12 There’s No Place Like Home Part 1. 19 episodes left, 51 days to go. As you know, I don’t know anything that is to come and like the survivors I am completely lost.

I’m very sad that I’m 19 episodes away from having to go back and watch Lost like a normal person. The show is  fantastic but I would have been infuriated by the lack of answers. I’ve never seen a show that would leave you hanging for seasons at a time. And there are still so many questions, here’s to hoping Season 5 provides more answers. Before I think about season 5 I need to watch the season 4 finale and before even that, I need to give you the recap of the 2 episodes I did watch.

Recap: We get a Locke flashback and learn he was 2 months premature and the Ageless Richard was present both for his birth and at his foster home to question Locke about which objects were already his. Locke chose the dirt, a compass & a knife which obviously meant he wasn’t special enough and Peter Pan (Richard) leaves in a bad mood. We then watch Locke get locked in a locker, and later we see him getting advice from  PT therapist poser, Lt. Daniels, (Matt?) who tells him he should take his crippled ass on a walk-about and then thank him for the advice the next time they meet. Back on the island, Locke has a dream to get a map from a dead Dharma guy to find Jacob’s cabin, but when he get’s to the cabin he finds Daddy Jack (Christian!) and Prego (Claire) instead of Jacob. Daddy Jack gives Locke instructions to move the island and Other Ben & Hurley accompany him to the Orchid where this simple task can be completed. Other Ben then gives himself up to the commando unit, which is patrolling the Orchid, so Locke can sneak past them and move the island. Back on the beach, Swoop (the nice helicopter pilot) drops a sat phone trail for Jack & Kate to follow but when they run into Sawyer, Ghostbuster (Miles) and Aaron, Kate goes back to the beach with Aaron and Sawyer & Jack go for the chopper. Once Sawyer & Jack free Swoop they discover the commandos are going after Other Ben at the Orchid and they decide to follow because Leader Sawyer won’t leave Hurley to die. Back on the beach Sayid arrives with a mini-boat that fits exactly 6 and the physicist begins to use it to transport the survivors back to the boat (which is now a huge bomb). Sayid of course goes with Kate to track down Sayer & Jack but are captured by Peter Pan and The Others. Flash forward to the Oceanic 6 media day. Hurley’s family, Mama Jack, Shady Korean Parents and even Nadia are there to greet the 6 but no is there for Kate. We are then treated to a Hurley birthday party  (too bad his car’s odometer was stuck on the numbers) and to a Sun & Daddy moment where she tells him that she is using her considerable Oceanic settlement to take over his company. Oh yea and Prego’s mom apparently pulled out of the coma and decided to go to Daddy Jack’s long delayed funeral and tell Jack that Prego was his half sister.

Why is Daddy Jack speaking for Jacob now? Is it because his dead body is somewhere on the island and it gave him cool island powers? Why does Prego look like she and Daddy Jack just smoked a pound of the best shit magic island had to offer? Daddy Jack tells Locke that Aaron is where he is supposed to be, but then Dead Charlie tells Jack (via Hurley) he isn’t supposed to be raising the baby. Will these dead people make up their minds? I’m also miffed about how Peter Pan identified Locke as special as a preemie and what was up with that time traveling test. I suppose it’s too much to ask that Locke recognize Peter Pan. At least moving the island makes a lot of sense! Now we know why Mr. Widmore can’t find the island if he was once on it. It’s also explains why Jack can’t get back. The fact that the mini boat fits 6 makes sense why only 6 Losties could be rescued but other than Sun, why those 6? Why couldn’t Jin go? Does that mean he really does die…

I think the path forward is this: the 6 leave the island for whatever reason and the others stay behind to live forever on magic island. The island is moved so the O6 can’t find their way back but Other Ben leaves the island (Locke takes over as leader of the Others) to take revenge on Charles Widmore, thus recruiting Sayid. Apparently magic island wants to O6 back for some reason and by the end of season 5 they decide to follow Other Ben back. Season 5 will teach us more about magic island and Sawyer will be the leader of the Losties.

Next up on Finally Lost…the bomb on the boat forces everyone to abandon it which is why only 6 can escape the island and the physicist, Swoop and all of the commandos will die. Please please please don’t let Jin die. I also don’t know why Desmond would go back and stay on the island…

p.s. we learned that the 3 the O6 claimed that died on the fake island were Boone, Libby & Charlie, I thought they had mentioned only 2 in the previous flash forward. I also wonder why they picked those three…

The rules have changed

Completed: 4-8 Meet Kevin Johnson, 4-9 The Shape of Things to Come, 4-10 Something Nice Back Home. 21 episodes left, 52 days to go. As you know, I don’t know anything that is to come and like the survivors I am completely lost.

It looks like I jumped offsides a little early on taking credit for my Kate/Sawyer prediction but I bulls-eyed Mr. Charles Widmore’s role, here’s the recap: We get almost a full episode flashback of Dumb-Ass Dad’s (Michael) time away from the island and it’s nothing too surprising. After all the annoying screaming “WAAALT”, DAD(Dumb-Ass Dad) leaves Walt with grandma because he can’t get over the guilt of killing Ana Lucia & Libby (good, F him!) After telling Walt what he did to save him, DAD tries to kill himself via car and gun but Other Tom shows up to tell him the island won’t let him die because it ain’t done with him yet. DAD is convinced by Other Tom to save the Losties on the island by blowing up Charles Widmore’s boat but instead of blowing up the boat, DAD is Other Ben-Whammied into becoming Other Ben’s spy. Back on the island Other Ben gives Slingshot (Alex), Frenchy (Danielle) & Karl a map to the temple but Frenchy & Karl are killed en route while Slingshot is taken prisoner 😦 😦 Slingshot is then used as bait to get Other Ben to give himself up but Other Ben tries to call the bluff. Sadly the bluff ain’t a bluff and Slingshot is killed right in front of Other Ben causing him to say, “The rules have changed” and unleash the black smoke monster on the boat brigade. Other Ben, Locke & Hurley then go off to see Jacob while Prego (Claire), Devil baby (Aaron), Ghostbuster (Miles) & Sawyer head to the beach. Prego sees her father, Daddy Jack and follows him into the woods and we are left hanging while Sawyer calling out for Prego while holding an abandoned Devil Baby. Flash forward to Other Ben alone in a desert, kicking 2 armed guard’s ass, whamming Sayid to work for him after he reveals Charles Widmore is behind his wife Nadia’s death (check) and then having a face to face with Mr. Widmore in which Other Ben reveals he is going to kill his daughter Penny as payback. Back on the beach, Jack’s appendix is about to burst and has Kate hold a mirror so he can backseat-operate until White Bernard decides enough is enough and knocks him out leaving the Ice Princess (Juliet) to finish her work in peace. Flash forward to Kate & Jack living happily together, raising Devil Baby until Jack visits Hurley and is informed Charlie is continuing his post-mordem visits and left a message for Jack: someone will be visiting you soon. Jack seeing a flash of his father combined with Kate trying to cover up a favor she is running for Sawyer makes Jack explode and yell, “He’s not even related to you!” Weird, Kate keep a secret??

Wow, season 4 is a bloodbath! I had a feeling Frenchy was going to be the next to go (although I was half hoping for a flashback) but I didn’t expect Karl & Slingshot to die as well. I almost had to put the DVD in the freezer after they killed Slingshot 😦 Other Ben’s moment with his dead daughter was the first time during the series in which I knew he was completely sincere and despite the death being his fault, I really felt for him. I’m going to miss Slingshot and not just because she was my favorite self-made nickname. Other Ben’s flash forward was AWESOME. The end scene between he and Widmore was fantastic because, finally, Other Ben has an equal. I was very distraught to hear that Other Ben’s new plan is to kill Penny since my rooting interest is a Desmond/Penny happy ending. I’m especially frustrated because Other Ben always seems to get what he wants. It’s also curious that Other Ben said he can’t kill Widmore. Is this in the same way that DAD couldn’t kill himself? Does the island prevent normal life death until it’s done with you? It sounds like Widmore was on the island before, but then why can’t he get back to it? And why did he say Other Ben would never find Penny when as of xmas eve she was in her house? Is she hiding or did she finally make it to the island? So many questions..

Now between Other Ben’s flash forward and Jack’s second flash forward it looks like we can piece everything that’s going to happen to the Oceanic 6 when they get off the island. Hopefully that means we will start to learn HOW they get off the island and why the rest of the Losties chose/had to stay. I also loved how protective Sawyer was of Hurley & Prego. Clearly he is ready to step in as the leader of the Losties and I think he will be better leader than Jack & Locke.

And finally, some quick hits:

• Clearly I am a stupid pathetic moron, because I COMPLETELY forgot that Prego and Jack were haflsies! Is there something special about Jack that he keeps seeing Daddy Jack or is there something special about Daddy Jack?
• I’m starting to think Other Ben is in the coffin because all of the O6 seem to live and Other Ben is the only person to get off the island
• Did all the Losties get a choice to leave or not? If there were only 6 spots it seems odd that Kate and Jack went. At least it makes sense why they made up the Kate story and told the rest of the world everyone else was dead. How on earth though, did they account for the extra bodies at the fake crash site though?
• Ha I knew Other Tom is gay. During the Ice Princess’ flashback about Goodwin, Tim told her that she wasn’t his type. I forgot to note it in the blog
• Indiana speaks Korean. There’s no way all 3 scientists and the pilot all live to see season 5
• Sayid should have known better than to talk to DAD, it obviously would have blown his cover. I guess it didn’t matter since he then told the captain that DAD was the spy. Why did he do that?
• I know I didn’t say much about DAD’s flashback but after you find out he got back to NYC and Walt hates him I didn’t find the episode particularly revealing. Obviously the best part was the “Not Yet” note attached to the bomb

Next up on Finally Lost…another Jacob encounter and I hope we get to find out how the O6 leave…

Ben Avicolli is a Stupid Pathetic Moron (by Dave Terruso)

The island won't let me!

For those of you who only know me as “Finally Lost”, in real life my name is Ben Avicolli and the following was submitted by guest blogger Dave Terruso:

This article is for those of us who’ve seen every episode of LOST. Maybe you’ve watched each episode when it first aired since the premier. Maybe you watched the first three seasons on DVD and then started watching them each week with Season 4. Either way, you know as much as any other viewer knows about what’s going on with Magic Island.

When we find out that a friend of ours has started watching LOST, our first thought is “Finally. Finally. I’ve been telling you how good it is for years and it finally sunk in. You would think that when I described it as ‘as good as hate sex with your hottest ex on a bed of your favorite treats, so that you could just tear off a Fruit Rollup in the middle of humping,’ you would’ve gotten onboard sooner.”

Once he starts watching, we start to get jealous. We remember how amazed we were when something ripped the pilot out of the airplane and then a polar bear ran through the jungle. We remember how blown our minds were when we first discovered that the Others used to be able to leave the island whenever they wanted and were in contact with the main land. We think about those joys, and we feel sad because we know we can never experience those things again in the same way. If we go back and rewatch the episodes now, we’d just be thinking “Oh, look, I didn’t even realize that guy was gonna be such a big deal later!” It’s the feeling we get when our friend starts dating someone new and is all googly-eyed and overjoyed, and we think about our five year relationship and miss those firsts and the euphoria of infatuation. (Thank goodness we can’t watch past seasons of our relationships on DVD, that would be awful.) We want to wipe our memories of LOST like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and start the magic over.

Then comes a feeling of superiority. Our friend starts telling us what he’s seen and what he thinks is going on. And we get to laugh at him and smirk and think, “Oh, Ben Avicolli, you stupid pathetic moron. I remember what it was like to be you. So green, so clueless, so adorably cute in your out-of-the-loopness. You really think Bernard is Jacob? Really? Idiot. Your world is gonna be so rocked the first time you see Vincent stand on his hind legs and reveal that he’s Jacob. (I can’t write any real spoilers for Ben’s sake).” Then we realize we don’t want to start over with the show. We like knowing as much as we know, obsessing over it after all these years and then getting rewarded with earned plot twists. Our five year relationship is great; it’s not infatuation any more, it’s true love, with depth and history. We lie in bed with our live-in lover laughing about how Ben just found out that his new girlfriend hates rap music and Harry Potter, and it’s never gonna work out between them. Or whatever. (I may have taken the relationship metaphor too far.)

Just imagine what it must be like to be one of the writers of LOST. To be Damon Lindelof. To be Carlton Cuse. To know the last thing to be revealed before the final LOST title pops up to end the whole shebang. To know secrets about things that the rest of us don’t even know have secrets about them yet. That must be the greatest feeling ever. To be a god of knowledge over everyone. Even the stars of the show are in the dark compared to you. You’ve known how important Charles Widmore is to the story from the beginning, back when the rest of us stupid pathetic morons just thought he was the dad of Desmond’s girlfriend, a throwaway character like the guy who played Hurley’s boss and Locke’s boss. And, hey, maybe you know that the guy who played Hurley’s and Locke’s boss is actually more important to the story than Christian Shephard. You’re one of a handful of people on this earth who know how this will end, and you have from the beginning—or you have since season three and you know about the lie you’ve told the public about knowing how this will end since the beginning.

You, the writer, know why Libby was in the mental institution with Hurley.

You, the writer, know why the Dharma Initiative was dropping food on the island ten years after everyone who worked for them had been wiped out.

You know why that giant parrot flew by and screamed Hurley’s name.

You know the real reason none of the women on the island can get pregnant and take the baby to term.

You know what the whispers in the jungle are.

All of this makes me think about what it must be like to be God. To know everything. God already knows how LOST will end, has known since before the first episode. God knows how the world ends, if it ends at all.

I sure hope God isn’t jealous of us for watching the episodes of our lives for the first time, or even worse, finds us to be stupid pathetic morons like Ben Avicolli.

…

About Dave Terruso:

An aspiring novelist/screenwriter, Dave Terruso’s screenplay MAKE YOURSELF was a finalist in the 2006 Set in Philadelphia Screenplay Contest.

As one-half of sketch comedy duo Animosity Pierre, Dave has been a finalist in the 2007 Project Breakout Comedy Competition, a finalist in the 2007 XBox Live Originals Contest, and had his cartoon short The Inventionors screened at the 2007 New York Television Festival. Pierre’s viral video about the TV show LOST earned them a write-up on Time Magazine’s website.

Dave is one of the founders and producers of Philly Sketchfest, the only sketch comedy festival in Philadelphia.

It’s about to be a girl fight

Completed: 3-12 Par Avion, 3-13 The Man From Tallahassee, 3-14 Expose, 3-15 Left Behind.  39 episodes left, 59 days to go. As you know I don’t know anything about this series except that I’ve seen previews that suggest that the survivors get off the island at some point.

What a great 4 episode clip! I think this must be the part of the series where the writers, much like the universe, course corrected. I am seeing more answers being given, the pace of the story has picked up and they even buried alive Enrique the Cook and Anna Nikki-ole (ew she really banged that old guy for $8M?) I was surprised to learn that people really hated those 2 since I only remember them being in 1 or 2 episodes but the show must feel a lot different when it’s viewed one week at a time.

So the recap: Prego (Claire) uses her nature channel knowledge gained from hanging out with comatose mom to tie a note to a electronically monitored migrating bird; the Hobbit (Charlie) & Desmond come clean to Claire about Charlie’s future death and we learn that Jack’s Dad is really Prego’s father (man that guy get’s around). Kate, Sayid, Frenchy & Locke go over the sonar defenses and through the woods to Others Camp to rescue Jack but are appalled to find he is working with The Others. Sayid & Kate are kidnapped and Locke is Other-Ben-whammied (new term for being Ben-manipulated) to blow up the submarine only to be given the gift of his biological father all tied-up. Back at camp, Hurley and the gang have a Hardee Boys mystery hour and figure out that Enrique & Anna Nikkiole were killed over diamonds but missed the memo about them only being spider-paralyzed so they were buried alive. Finally, the episode “Left Behind” treated us to a handcuffed mud wrestling match between Kate & the Ice Princess (Juliet) where the only winners were the males in the audience. Eventually they made up (sadly without kissing) and escaped the black smoke and found Sayid and Jack at Camp Others.

I know Prego only gets one flashback per season but they are always among my favorites. We finally get to see who Daddy Jack was trying to visit in Australia when Ana Lucia was in the car. I knew it’d eventually be someone important but I had no idea it’d be a grownup Prego! I’ll spare you all from my complaining about how long we will have to wait before Jack & Prego realize they are halfsies but just know I’ll be frustrated till it happens (prolly in Season 5 or 6 grrr!) I’m very intrigued that The Others know EVERYTHING about the survivors of flight 815 and they surely must know all about these connections. Maybe The Others will invite the survivors to a magic island thanksgiving and tell them all about the connections before slaughtering them. Stranger things have happened. At least Dez & the Hobbit told Prego about Dez’s future flashes.

Oh the man from Tallahassee! I’m beginning to understand why people love Other Ben. I’m instantly won over by such quotes as:
– “John you should probably know that my daughter currently hates me so using me as a hostage might now work”
– “No, John, unfortunately we don’t have a code for ‘there’s a man in my closet with a gun to my daughter’s head,’ although…we obviously should”.
– “That’s why I’m in the wheelchair and you’re not”

I hate him, I love him. And he finally gives us some answers. He confirms the island is in fact magic island and has healed Locke (and likely along with Rose & Jin’s boys) but we don’t know why it hasn’t healed Other Ben (perhaps he is immune because he’s lived on the island all his life?). He tells us why he wanted the sub blown up and we learn about his manipulative plan to capture Jack, Sawyer & Kate. What we are still left to ponder is…why won’t he let people leave the island? What are they doing on the island? Is there really a magic box and how/why is the island so magical. Where did The Others go? And HOW did they acquire Locke’s dad? I’ll make some predictions soon but for now I’m going to guess that Daddy Locke came in another plane with the most recent hatch anomaly that caused Desmond to use the fail safe.

A few words about Expose’. Any episode that has hott Nikki as a stripper dancing to rump-shaker, a Billie D Williams cameo as himself, Sawyer in the middle of a whodunnit, and 2 people buried alive is a classic episode to me. I LOVE how we got to see Enrique & Anna Nikkiole play small parts at vital times during this show’s timeline. So are they really dead?? I guess I’ll give them a couple more episodes before I call time of death but what a GREAT ending. I love how this episode explained little things like Enrique going off to the bathroom, why Enrique wanted to go to the new hatch and how the survivor’s knew about the guns in the marshal’s briefcase (I think I questioned how Shannon knew about the guns at one point?). It was great to see Other Ben and the Ice Princess planning in the hatch but I wonder why the Others leave those hatches abandoned.

Finally a few words about Left Behind. The connections are really coming full circle. It makes sense why Sawyer was in Kate’s Mom’s dinner…the lady from the long con must have lived close by. Now the Con Lady helps Kate get a moment with her mom and tells Kate about her being knocked up by a con man. She came SO close to using the name Sawyer it hurts! Kate is the reason Sawyer ended up in prison! Sawyer really does have a daughter! I really hope the survivors discover these connections. Last word on the episode..I love that Hurley conned Sawyer into being nice to everyone and taking over as leader. Those two should always be on screen together!

Next up on Finally Lost…Jack & company return home to end Sawyer’s brief stint as commander and chief and hopefully Sayid will interrogate the Ice Princess. Now we can find out everything! I still don’t trust her and wouldn’t put it past Other Ben to have injected her as a spy. She did after all go out of her way to handcuff herself to Kate in the middle of nowhere and then lie about it!